Someone I was really good friends with last semester shut me out at the beginning of this one. We are still friendly when we see each other, but there's always an awkward tension you know? anyway tonight I was invited to a "soiree" as the girls hosting called it...basically a christmas party. And she showed up and it was fine and we kept having all these moments where we'd make each other laugh. Even though we haven't hung out in so long it is so obvious at least to me that we still can like instantly click. Anyway that's postive, but the negative part that puts this in the mixed thread was that when I got home I was feeling kind of down about it and put on my facebook status:

"Benny wishes we could talk about it, but it just seems too little and too late. 01:05"
And then a few minutes later she posts:
"**** .... The friendship that can cease has never been real.... 01:13"
I don't know what to make of that. I mean I'm really sure it was aimed at my status/me, but I mean to me and it seemed to her we totally click still, so either she's thinking what I am or she's thinking we never really were friends. Ugh I'm so confused. Then I posted some really emo lyrics to a ballad I wrote. Hahah :)


Anyway here are the lyrics...I'm not sure if I'm going to put in a bridge and a tag or not...eh let me know what you think! :P

Make me strong.
Make me wise.
In your eyes
I will see
all the fear
that's in me.

In this song
are the thoughts
I have thought
for so long
and in you
I can see
a brand new me.

I'm grateful for
ev'rything you do to make me smile.
I'm grateful for the
looks you give me ev'ry once in a while,
and I won't forget
your kindness nor your lovely tenderness
I'm grateful for
ev'rything that lives inside your kiss.

Sure, I tried
so hard
to hide
how I feel
but I can't
pretend
it isn't real.

So, I'll wait
for your response
nervous as hell
yet compelled
by your grace
and your heart-
felt embrace.


I'm grateful for
ev'rything you do to make me smile.
I'm grateful for the
looks you give me ev'ry once in a while,
and I won't forget
your kindness nor your lovely tenderness
I'm grateful for
ev'rything that lives inside your kiss.

Night.
--Benjamin